Managing expectations dating

05-Nov-2015 21:36

When do you know your relationship expectations aren’t realistic?

So what are you to do if you don't know what your expectations for a relationship are - or worse - some of your expectations fall into the no-no category?

"People want to rush into a relationship and they want it all to work out right away.

They become very concerned if the other person doesn't call them quickly or doesn't want to see them with increasing frequency," says Jo Ann White, a relationship expert and psychology instructor at Temple University in Philadelphia. Many times, she says, one partner simply doesn't want to move that fast.

Don't censor yourself, and let your mind wander to wherever it goes.

If you're having a hard time coming up with some ideas, think about your past relationships and use their positive aspects as your starting guide.

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Close your eyes and picture your ideal mate: what talents, qualities, personality traits, experiences and emotional capabilities do you want him or her to have?

This, in turn, dictates the direction and quality of our lives.

In his book , Tim Kimmel identified four characteristics of a home with peace.

He told me that he had asked each one to give him a brief account of their most recent major conflict. All but one were in conflict with their Board of elders. I found this remarkable because that very Wednesday morning I had devoted a major part of my class time insisting that students in my class would never officiate at a wedding without first conducting a premarriage course, preparing a couple for marriage. A primary function of pre-marriage counselling and planning is to adjust unrealistic expectations and express assumed expectations so that the couple can commit themselves to agreed-upon realistic expectations. We are not doing well when it comes to Managing Expectations.

When expectations are poorly managed, four negative emotions emerge, any one of which can be destructive in any relationship.

Close your eyes and picture your ideal mate: what talents, qualities, personality traits, experiences and emotional capabilities do you want him or her to have?This, in turn, dictates the direction and quality of our lives.In his book , Tim Kimmel identified four characteristics of a home with peace.He told me that he had asked each one to give him a brief account of their most recent major conflict. All but one were in conflict with their Board of elders. I found this remarkable because that very Wednesday morning I had devoted a major part of my class time insisting that students in my class would never officiate at a wedding without first conducting a premarriage course, preparing a couple for marriage. A primary function of pre-marriage counselling and planning is to adjust unrealistic expectations and express assumed expectations so that the couple can commit themselves to agreed-upon realistic expectations. We are not doing well when it comes to Managing Expectations.When expectations are poorly managed, four negative emotions emerge, any one of which can be destructive in any relationship.So, tossing away someone simply because they want to take it slow could turn out to be a big mistake. Sadock, MD, notes that getting swept up in romantic desire is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as long as we don't subject our partner to our fantasies too soon.